Just be

It's that time of the year again when we examine our lives, what's working, what's not. Among my list of resolutions is this one - write more. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching (I hate that term), and was thinking about my mom. She used to say that she didn't know what she wanted to be when she grew up. She was 75 at the time.

I love my job. I've never dreaded going to the college, and once on campus, I'm energized by the surroundings, the energy of the students and the newsroom. Still, I wonder if there is more to life than just work. Michael also loves his work but we both talk a lot about dropping out of society one day.

I've been trying really hard to stay in the moment and not spend too much time thinking about the "what-ifs" and the "if-onlys." If only we had found each other sooner. If only we could all live closer. If only by brother realized how lucky he is to have this family. Or the big what if - What if one of us dies?

I read something interesting the other day by Eckhart Tolle. He talked about the passing of time, how we cannot watch time pass but that there is evidence all around us...a rotting apple, our face in the mirror compared to a photo of years prior. Time is passing and it's passing too fast. Michael and I have this desire to spend more time with each other, to let go of the material stuff and just be. We spend a lot of time planning our exit strategy, but how can you be in the moment if you're planning the future or dwelling on the past? That's a big challenge for most of us. So in the spirit of being in the moment, I've composed a list of the things that I know for sure, right at this moment, in lieu of the typical list of New Year's Resolutions.

1. I can be happy anywhere, as long as my husband, myself, and my family are healthy. Places do not make people happy and content. Happiness comes from within.
2. Money does not buy happiness, it just makes life easier. If you have all the money in the world, you are still stuck with yourself. It's just you with money.
3. The thing that matters most in life is health. If you or a loved one is sick, nothing else really matters.
4. Family and friends are everything. Stuff is just that - stuff.
5. We are all going to die. Worrying about how and when it will happen will not change the outcome. More reason to live a wonderful life while you can. My mother lived a wonderful life and now she's gone, as I will be one day.
6. Things can always get worse. Never say they can't. The fact that I can walk, talk and breathe on my own is reason to celebrate.
7. I don't need a lot of stuff to be content. Shelter, warm water, basic clothing, a car that runs, food, an occasional glass of wine. Yep, that's about it.
8. Laughter really is the best medicine.
9. I have one body, I need to take care of it. It has to last me through the rest of my life.
10. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller