mad about you...

Love is grand, but with it comes a sense of vulnerability. If we are really to love and love big, we have to let our guard down. Scary thought. I've never really been able to do that. I've always had that "edge," usually attributed to men. This edge keeps you cool, protected against hurt (how can you be hurt when you've already decided it doesn't matter that much if the relationship breaks up) and helps you maintain control of your emotions.

This time around I let my guard down and it feels exhilarating at times, agonizing at others. When you let your guard down you allow someone to enter your heart, your soul, and with it comes the possibility this person may someday kick the shit out you. But life is an experiment, right? Tennyson said, 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Then again, Tennyson suffered from a lifelong fear of mental illness which can probably be said for most of the hopeless romantics out there. When you're really in love, your mind isn't your own. It's filled with thoughts of this other person, hence terms like "madly in love" or "crazy for you."

"Love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit." Ronny Cammareri